A Masterclass.

The Theatre Royal Haymarket provides masterclasses with noted people from stage and screen to inspire and help us struggling actors. I previously went to one hosted by Fiona Shaw, and although I found her fascinating and very profound, I also felt rather out of my depth. I was worried this was an indication of a lack of expertise in my field, but upon eavesdropping on various whispered conversations around me, I soon realised that most other people felt the same; she is of the old-school acting elite, and a lot of methods she talked about and her acting style were not truly reflective of actors today, and so I found it difficult to relate. I didn't go to a masterclass for a while after that experience, as I really only learnt that although Ms Shaw is a fantastic actress, her opinions didn't hold my attention for three hours.


Having said that, I have kept an eye out for other masterclasses that would be of more interest to me, and with that in mind, booked myself in to see the stars of director Trevor Nunn's current West End hit, Flare Path; Sheridan Smith and Sienna Miller. As a huge fan of the musical Legally Blonde (despite working front of house at the Savoy for eight months I never got bored of Sheridan's performance or the ridiculously chirpy soundtrack), and an admirer of Sienna's style and grace on screen, these are two women who I am thoroughly excited to learn from.


However, an hour and a half into it, I realised that these two women couldn't actually depart particularly helpful information. This is because both of them have been in constant work since they were 16, and have never struggled for auditions or finding new jobs. In fact, Sienna made a comment about having three or four auditions a week... a week??! A month would be nice! Both women knew the right people, or, as Sheridan admitted, have been extremely lucky. To be in Flare Path they didn't even audition, Trevor Nunn text them both. I mean, when does this happen in normal people's lives??! Still, what I loved about them both is how down to earth they are, and seemed almost nervous about being quizzed by an audience of mainly late teens to mid 20's. It was a fun experience, but it became obvious when audiences started asking questions that it was the two women that were actually out of their depth... albeit in a way that I would like to be.


For example, a question was, what did you do for work when you didn't have an acting job? Sheridan worked in a burger van, but this was when she was 15 and hadn't begun an acting career; once she had begun, it never stopped. Sienna was a waitress, but again this was before she kickstarted her career using her mum's agents, and she said, 'I've been lucky enough not to worry about work between jobs because there's always been a bit of money left from the last one.' A bit of money? Try millions!


Neither of them trained, but are hugely successful, whereas now actors are told if they haven't been to RADA or Central then they won't even get a look in with the good agents, and unfortunately this seems to be true. Sheridan's advice was to get into a play and invite agents to come and watch, and a girl in the audience called out, 'but they don't come!' And again its true, an agent isn't interested unless you have the right credentials already or know someone on the inside. Neither actress knew how to respond to this, as both have never been in that position.


All in all, it was lovely to hear their stories and both of them are incredibly talented individuals, but next time I go to a masterclass, I'm going to go and see someone who struggled for years before their career began, and see what pearls of wisdom I can squeeze out of them. After all, as another huge success, Ethel Barrymore said;


'For an actress to be a success, she must have the face of Venus, the brains of a Minerva, the grace of Terpsichore, the memory of a Macaulay, the figure of Juno, and the hide of a rhinoceros.'


Looks like I have a long way to go.

A Disaster Waiting To Happen.

Today I had a casting. It was for Sainsburys, which is huge, as it'll be seen on mainstream TV, and if I'm featured I'll be able to pay my rent for a few months (or jet straight off to Majorca). Sounds great? Maybe not. It's for the bathroom and cleaning products section, and I had to wear a swimsuit under my clothes.

A swimsuit?? Now this produces a couple of minor issues. One - on my CV it states I have a slim, athletic figure. Maybe this was true in the distant past but old age and lack of cooking ability have resulted in distinctive wobbly bits. Two - I have so far declined to tell my agent that I have a tattoo below my hip. One that can clearly be seen in the swimsuit. This is mainly because I refuse to do nudity of any kind, but the fact it can also be seen when wearing a swimsuit had slipped my mind.

So I get there, (after applying copious amounts of foundation to said tattoo), wait for an hour (note to self - saying I have a flight to catch is a sure-fire way to jump the queue), and in the meantime other actors are coming out of the studio wearing robes. When I eventually get inside, I do the mandatory ident, profile... and hand shots. Hand shots? This is just a disaster really. I've bitten my nails since I was about 2. Another fact I neglected to mention. This is not boding well.

I am asked to pretend that I have just finished cleaning and collapse onto the chair provided in relief. I do this. The casting director then tells me that's all they need to see. Oh? 'Yes, it's not that we don't like you, we are just looking at different people for different things.' Which basically means that a) they noticed my wobbly bits even through my clothes, or b) were instantly horrified by the state of my fingers and were adamant that they were not suitable for television close-ups. I exit the room in all my clothes, and get looks of sympathy from the guys, and self-satisfied smirks from the girls. One less to compete with, they clearly thought.

Well. You can't win 'em all.

A Senior Moment.

I had one of those recently. It was when I decided I needed a new challenge; something to work towards. Something I could complete, and be proud of myself for what I had achieved.


I decided to apply to run the 2012 London Marathon.


Erm... what exactly possessed me to do this??? When I asked my sister to run it as well, she replied, 'I couldn't run 2 miles, let alone 26.' My sentiments exactly.


I blame my cousin. It's her fault. She gave me this idea to run it with her, and she is asthmatic and diabetic, so if she can do it, then it would be utterly shameful for me to collapse after ten minutes.


So, the next step is a training schedule. I wouldn't say I was particularly unfit, and I'm not lazy, but the idea of putting aside a few hours a day to jog in the wind and rain does not appeal to me at all. I could be doing many other more enjoyable pursuits, such as eating, or catching up with friends, or... well, exercising. Hmm.


To be honest, I am actually looking forward to this. Hopefully I'll be nice and fit for the summer, and exercise does make me feel healthy and happy. The main issue is that in October I will find out if I've succeeded getting through the ballot, and I will be almightily peeved if I've spent four months training for no reason.


My uncle used to run the London Marathon every year, and his best time was 3 hours 30 minutes. My dad ran a half marathon at the age of 61 in two hours. With these accomplishments in mind, my cousin and I are going for a finishing time of 4 hours and 30 minutes. Doable? I think so. With the right mindset, that is.


“If you fail to prepare, prepare to fail.”


Well. Better get training then.

Getting Back Into The Swing Of Things.

I am so glad I am an actor. I spent the bank holiday weekend with my closest friends, involved in research and development for a show we are taking to Edinburgh Fringe Festival this year. I doubt any other profession can play games, make up locations out of sticks and go for experimental walks in the woods all in the name of research. However, I suppose most people also couldn't say they got lost in the woods on a business trip.


We are in the middle of developing an adaptation of Shakespeare's final work, 'The Tempest'. It's a great play, but typically Shakespearian - I had absolutely no idea what is going on. Luckily, the weekend's work helped me out, and as a company we realised that one of the main themes within the play that we all resonate with is the idea of being 'lost'. Whether that's literally (they are lost on the island), emotionally (Miranda is lost without a potential husband) or mentally (Caliban is floundering in his hatred for his situation), we all could relate to this theme in some way.


This speaks volumes about where I am right now, and although perhaps a selfish view, I'm glad I am not alone. It is reassuring to know that my peers and fellow actors are also struggling to find meaning in our mid-20's. It's nice to know I am not going totally mad.


So, after most of the initial debate about themes and ideas that I adore and which would be described by my boyfriend as 'poncey, pretentious waffle', we moved on to actually developing scenes. It is all in the early stages at the moment, but I felt that the weekend was very productive. The foundations have been laid, and rehearsals will continue in August. More about this in later blogs!


Every time I am around this particular group of people I feel completely inspired, and forget all about my money troubles. Then, I get back to London and realise my rent has come out of my account, and I immediately forget about how inspired I am, and panic.


As Prospero says in his epilogue:


Now my charms are all o'erthrown,
What strength I have's mine own,
Which is most faint.


Basically, don't get blinded by the fantasy, as the reality doesn't go away. Now there's a wake up call if you ever needed one. Thanks Prospero.