I'm On A Plain.

This morning I am on a train to Bath for a rehearsal, and whilst singing Nirvana's On A Plain but substituting plain for train and chuckling to myself, I had a thought. I literally cannot wait to start rehearsing. When was the last time I was that excited about something? Well, I booked a holiday last week but that doesn't really count. The play is Shakespeare's Measure for Measure, and I am reprising the roles of Pompey and Juliet from two years ago when we performed in Bath and at Edinburgh Fringe Festival. This was the first play my theatre company produced upon leaving university, and it was one of the happiest times I've had performing. Which is ironic, as having just been dumped by my boyfriend of over two years, I was in a very bad place, so it was a cathartic experience to pour my meteoric emotions into the characters.

I wonder if this is how Kurt Cobain felt when writing Nevermind. All his emotions poured into the songs. Apparently he said about On A Plain that there is no meaning, just follow the uplifting melody and find the answers in your own head. Sure, or it's about heroin. Obviously I am merely speculating, having never met the man I can only go by what I've read. But what's great about his songwriting is that even if you have not experienced what he is singing about, you can feel his emotion and connect to it, relating it to your own life. I could analyse the song until the cows come home, but I take it as finding a rare moment when you feel balanced, even if others disagree, and having the faith to believe in yourself and just go with it, despite that faith perhaps being misplaced at times.

Analysing Shakespeare is just as objective; what we interpret his words to mean now is probably light years away from what he meant when he wrote them, and yet as a company, developing our own take on it was one of the most satisfying parts of the process. Doing this play again just reminds me of what amazing people I have around me, and how proud we all were of what we'd accomplished. Interestingly, from the point of view of a rather glass half empty person, I now only associate Measure for Measure with happy memories. I'm being reunited with something I know and love, which is reassuring as the rest of my life is a bit of a mystery.

As Kurt says, I can't complain.